All good things must end?

Maybe, maybe not...but vacation ends today. After 2.5 weeks of not working I must sweep the cobwebs from my brain and go earn those handy dandy little checks that keep my house afloat. Excuse me while I shed a tear...

Willow was adopted and returned in less than 48 hours. Seems the woman was allergic to dogs and somehow thought this would be "different." For real. Anywhos she's gone to another foster in Nova where she will learn Flyball. She may not have a forever home yet but she's made tons of friends from Philly to Richmond, VA and has learned a lot. Not to bad for a shelter dog.

And Sylvester is still here waiting for a home. Seems the only people who want him have small kids and cats. Not a good fit. The one fam that sounded awesome wanted him to be an outdoor dog. Um. No. English Bulldogs are not outdoor dogs. My fosters are not outdoor dogs. And so we wait. He's been doing awesome but was nippy yesterday. Just like small kids, they have good days and bad days.

Dena is out qualifying in a new territory and called to tell me they put her up in a hotel infested with stink bugs. The staff acknowledges the problem and put up signs everywhere blaming it on the sudden turn in weather. I recommended she keep her bag zipped. EW!

And the mud has begun...Despite the white pics I posted of our Xmas snow it's been in the 60's here this weekend and rained all day. I send 2 dogs out and they come in clean...I send the bully boys out and they come in caked in mud. They dry in the crates and then come back out...I can't believe I was foolish enough to dole out baths this week. Now I shall wait until we dry out a bit.

No resolutions here either. I continue to work on my finances and being a skinny bitch...though money is easier to handle than my waistline. Wish me luck and a Happy New Year to you all!

Vacation?

What am I doing? Masquerading as a domesticated stay at home mom. See the scarf I am making myself?

I made a ham today and Hello Dolly's...I'll do Peanut Butter Blossoms tomorrow and perhaps Buckeyes and sausage balls...All in prep for the big day. My kids are playing outside with their friends, I've taken my Dad shopping and made plans to catch up with friends. Retirement looks like such a beautiful thing!

I'm also masquerading as a psycho crazy dog lady...Willow has re-located to Northern VA and is doing well in her now foster home. She's already had an inquiry and may be soon adopted (paws crossed!) And we have put Sylvester "out there" to be adopted. I love the little bugger but I know I can't keep him. And I have an appointment with my most awesomest-evah! dog trainer this week. I'm still having big issues with the boys and refuse to get in the middle of another dog fight. I don't want teeth re-directed on me. Cross your fingers for rock-hard-headed-Roscoe cause I'm about ready to choke his ass! ;)

Brought to you by Facebook...A year in review

This is a long one but I enjoyed it...and if you make it to the end there are pictures. 

• Goopy eyes, sore throat...Thanks Z
• Who knew compound fractures took over 6 weeks to heal?!? Not I!
• Is proud of her pups all loose, playing and happy...so much for scary pibbles
• Isn't killing Phil akin to shooting the messenger?
• Cotton McLovin is officially HW negative
• MMMMM...Galaxy Diner
• Wonders if she is the only one who thinks taking a sled to work for the lunch hour is a fan-tab-u-lous idea
• Learned 4 wheel drive does not mean you can go play in the weather...I broke my truck
• Someone seriously pissed off Mother Nature. Now kiss & Make up
• Had way too much caffeine to be sitting in a room all day
• The train is barreling down the tracks...get on it or under it
• Bit the dust, but in true Mommy fashion, didn't drop the puppy
• Fail? Buying a door with a lever handle. The dogs can now come back in at will
• Snow in VA? In March? Nooooooo!!!!
• Poor doogies...I heard Z say "Piggy, are you ready for the Amazing Race?" I had to intervene
• Is in need of fun
• Some people think they are so friggin funny...Am I wrong to tell them they are clearly mistaken?
• When you want to run screaming, just walk away ;)
• There is always hope
• Tooth fairy is coming to my house!
• Yes, Z did look at her brother and say "I am not being sarcastic. I am being realistic."
• Belle the foster Boston is in love...and sure as hell ain't wit me!
• Netflix streaming! Yay!
• Loves dirt therapy
• Buttercup is being adopted! Yay!
• Buttercup is being returned. Not her fault, but still...
• Be the master of fiascos!
• Really does wish the ice cream man would visit YOUR neighborhood! I'm sick of the music and it isn't even summer yet!
• Is amazed at how seriously a 6 yr old takes the Care Bears
• Is sooooo freakin glad summer has finally appeared!
• Has a heart shaped freckle
• Sent the iPod through the wash and it still works fine!
• Is a shining example to her kids on why you should keep your room clean
• Totally got punked by Dena's dog...but he's going to the vet today for sure
• Likes the Dr much better when he doesn't find issues
• Working at the kitchen table, letting the kids sleep in
• Guinness has 9g of carbs and Dill Havarti none...Easy Dinner
• Hates rainy days...they usually involve whiny, sassy pets and kids
• Adoption stands are tiring...Butters and KJ are both out cold
• Z is scared as a result of the car break-ins. :(
• Bad Ass Dog broke my Pampered Chef roaster and the boy has Fifths Disease. Fun times I tell you. 
• Money can't buy happiness but it can buy beer. Doesn't that make you happy?
• Jazz Fest in the ATL!
• The boy told me "You don't get by without smarts, Mom"
• If one more child appears in my living room they are going down!
• Roscoe completed heartworm treatment!
• Damn Tooth Fairy fucked up again! Will she come tonight?
• 7 yr old looks at the pinata and says "Mom, he's mocking me!"
• Icing on my cake? Say it with me people...VAY-CA-SHUN!
• Dena passed all her exams!
• Veggie fest was awesome. Getting a black eye in the jumpy house - not so much.
• Nephew says "No, that's a working callous. You get them when you work with your hands alot. I get them playing video games."
• Flying solo means chocolate cake...It's what's for dinner
• Knows why it rained...I forgot to turn off the sprinklers before heading out on the town
• Z is playing cards with the dog and keeps telling me Layla is wining
• Oh, Holy Hell! Another dentist escorted us out the door!
• Thinking hard and wondering if the stars will align
• My daughter tells me I smell like cupcakes
• Who wants to buy my house?
• Coffee, coffee, make me fast!
• Strangely enough Charlie Brown is not a fan of Sprout. He likes Layla??? Sprout's feelings are crushed. 
• Can't believe how stinkin cute Layla and Charlie Brown are together...2 years ago I never thought she'd be able to do this consistently but they are friends
• Recently put all the leftover poptarts in the same box so it's kinda like playing lotto
• According to a comedian on tv you are Gangsta if you're not afraid of pit bulls...guess I'm Hardcore!
• Is leaving for Florida under the cover of night
• Stupid children...wanting dinner when the ocean is right outside
• Is proud of Layla for not eating Georgie when he tried to pick a fight
• You can totally see invisible band-aids
• The boy asked me why old people say "Cool Beans"
• Remember the deer I saw and the cop that let me go? This time I saw a bunny and the bastard gave me the ticket. 
• Painting for 6 hours makes one's feet hurt
• Sam's Club is deceptive...I swore i needed all those groceries until it was time to bring them in 
• Felt like I had to climb over 2 kids 15000 times to get out of the house today
• Not one of the 22 homes on the market in my neighborhood have sold in the past 2 months
• Silly dogs were super surprised and happy to find their Mommy working at home in e bed
• Is a beyblade hater...for reals. 
• Learned about silk PJ's from the boy today...the good ones come from China because we just don't have as many silkworms here
• Gives such good back rubs I made a white boy quiver...Sprout loves his people. lol
• Sweet baby cheezus, thank you for Cabot Vintage Cheddar!
• Damn Old Man Winter! Go Away!
• Best Monday Surprise? I forgot I have vacation starting Wednesday. :D
• Holy crap! We're getting a baby!
• Does not like waking to poopy puppy crates a spilled half-gallon of paint and yelling children
• Knows there is always more than one way to skin a cat
• Definition of sad? dog resting his chin on the top step, poking it though the baby gate and sighing.
• Knows a REAL man NEVER hits a woman!
• Knows her dogs have ADHD
• Z came home with a seal cough
• SPCA did a good job removing 2 golf ball sized cysts from Roscoe (along with his balls)
• Flip Flops in November? SCORE!
• Don't ever act sexist...Bitches hate that.  ;)
• Is thankful her Dad is coming to Thanksgiving dinner and will make him anything he wants!
• Had some great butt-sniffing tonight...go Layla! You've come a long way baby! Maybe someday Willow can sniff you too. 
• Was all clever and shit shopping online last night. Now fresh coffee and Silk Pie for breakfast? After sleeping in? Life IS good!
• Is not a fan of her son tonight. Can I have a Valium...For him.
• OMG! Best quote of the day from the 7 yr old? "Stop messing with my social life! It's my private property!"
• 10 yr old correctly told me a joke involving marijuana, wine and Mexicans. Time to talk. 
• Didn't find grillin in the snow as much fun as when it was in the 80s
• The naughty bulldog picked up the panless wire crate in his teeth. By the bottom bars, after bending them. And banged the crate up and down. Think he wanted out? 
• Tried for Xmas photos in front of the tree...FAIL...though the dogs were better than the kids
• Willow has an inquiry! Paws crossed!

Pissed doesn't even cover it

I know an awesome trainer here in town and have hired and consulted with her on numerous occasions. I want to hire her for a fellow rescuer who needs help with her "bad" little dog but that will have to wait. Money is just entirely too tight this season.

I recently asked her advice on moving my kitty, Genghis Khan back into the house. He used to live inside but Sprout decided kitties are yummy. Even without catchup or BBQ sauce and so the kitty moved outdoors. My family wouldn't take him in so he has been living outside. Winter is coming and he was always an indoor cat so I steeled myself for battle and have gone to war.

We began by installing a baby gate over a month ago at the top of the stairs and only allowing the dogs up when invited. Then followed up recently with putting the dog beds out front for Genghis to lay on and bringing them indoors to be smelled at leisure. The beds went into the crate and only faced a minor chewing.

When the dogs were "out and about" I brought kitty indoors. His nerves were just about shot. He watched for dogs every second...You see, I think his fear makes him a target and all the more yummy because they don't eat with my bad kitty. She commands respect.

Once Kitty settled in a bit he got to meet Layla who "loves her kitty" and Roscoe who lived with and adored his kitty too. Sprout was clearly not invited.

When Genghis went out for the day Sprout was invited up. He check ed the litter box, he sniffed the beds, tipped over the food bowls (empty of course) and figured out exactly where his snack had been hanging out. When the kitty came back in he was no longer invited upstairs.

Then it happened.

Sprout had had just about enough and needed to voice his displeasure.

That rat-bastard came up the steps and was denied entry.

So

He

PISSED HIS WAY DOWN THE FREAKIN STAIRS!


I love my dog but this was a bit much. I kid you not, there were swirly twirly dribbles the whole way down. And then we proceeded, not to cock his leg, but to stick out his pelvis and piss all over the bottom step!

I caught him in the act. I ran down the stairs screaming at him. I chased his sorry ass out of the house. I scrubbed the stairs.

We have since kissed and made up so to speak. He snuggled with me all evening on the couch and insisted on being a lap dog. I think and hope that will never happen again, but then again, we are at war so we shall see.

Say what you will...

I know I haven't been here but let me assure you I have been too busy to breathe...Remember the Chip In event held for Roscoe? We did it!

It took for-fuckin'-ever but he can now be declared healthy, happy and fully vetted. They made me wait an extra month for his shots and neutering since he was just getting past Lyme disease and heartworm treatment and then didn't have an appointment for another month. He went this week. Poor baby got neutered, all his shots and 2 golfball size cycts removed. You can see he was pretty well sliced and diced. And while the Chip In did not cover all the expenses it went a long way towards helping get him the care he needed. THANK YOU! He's not real grateful at the moment, but we are.

In other news football continues to suck the life out of me. We had exhibition last week and the girls were awesome. It's the 1st year cheering for many and Miss Z wants to stick with it. And the boys made it to the playoffs! We start sudden elimination games next week and are in 4th place starting out.

It's birthday time around here too...2 kids + 11 days apart = 1 big party weekend. This was the 1st year the really wanted separate parties but they are close enough in age that I have now discovered they all hang together anyway and it just makes for one long weekend. Next year? Separate or not they will run concurrently! Guess what else I learned:

• There are 6 yr olds in this world with cell phones and facebook accounts
• They mostly live with their single moms
• Boys will throw playdoh if they think they won't get caught...but the noise will give them away every time
• Girls squeal. A lot. For no reason whatsoever.
  
• Boys are awesome at jumping off the top of the bleachers and rolling down the hill. This makes them very dirty resulting in AMAZING tub rings.
• When you think you are cool serving the girls donuts, know they will bitch when the boys get bacon and eggs the next morning.
  
• While Inflation Nation may seem better (from your perspective) when it's not bursting at the seams, the children find it boring and will ask to go home 15 minutes after arrival.

We are off to LaserTag shortly and since the weekend is not over I'm sure I have more to learn. While I'm off discovering new things about 10 year old boys I'll just let you look at our Cheering photo and go Awwwww...