Saturday, December 29, 2012

Dear Layla,

You are my dearest, sweet Piggy and I love you with all my heart. That's why this is one of the hardest decisions I've had to make.


You see, I always knew you had the potential. That's why you are always crated when the children have friends over, we vacuum, use the blender, the hair dryer or watch sports events. I've worked with trainers, I've explored medication, I've slowly built up your tolerance and taught you to look to me for guidance but it didn't work. You've broken a collar and a muzzle over the years to go after another dog which was disturbing enough. You showed your dislike for strangers and a powerful shyness when you were a wee pup and didn't like them petting you. No matter how I've tried to address it I came to accept that you are not an "adoptable dog" and that we should work to love you as you are and keep you safe or put you to sleep. You've always been reliable and loving with us so the obvious decision was to keep you away from public events and love you every day while managing your behavior. 

We failed. You fucked up when you bit my grandson.  I know he's ok but we can't take back what happened or make the scars go away. He won't remember the pain as he grows but the reminder will always be there for the rest of us each time we look into his eyes and see the scars left behind on his cheek.

If I didn't have children, if I didn't know dogs, if this wasn't deja vu you might have lived to old age as a wonderful member of our family but that is not to be. I do have children and my 1st responsibility is to them.

When I was young our dog Lambchop bit my sister and I and we begged and cried for his life. The bites were not bad and he was allowed to stay with the family until he bit my C. I still have a small scar on my face from my nip but she required 3 layers of stitches to put her face back together. I know that dogs who bite in the face escalate over time.

I love you Piggy and you will serve your 10 day quarantine here at home where you will be kept safe from harm. Monday we will go to the vet together and I will cry as I help you move on.  I told the kids you can hang out with their Pop-Pop when you get to heaven because you simply made a terrible mistake. Z was concerned about all his past Bostons and your distaste for dogs. I explained you won't feel andy more pain or anxiety and that you will finally be able to relax and just have a good time.

I love you Piggy and my heart is once more broken.

2 comments:

  1. I don't think I want to get pets I know that I love animals but I think my best efforts will be to volunteer in a animal shelter instead because I don't want to constantly worry about animals hurting children or getting off their leashes or biting someone heck even peeing on the floor. I have a child I have to watch, feed, and make sure she doesn't disappear. I am sorry for your loss. I do hope that it was a little bit easy.

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