Thursday, June 9, 2011

Rant re Stupid-Ass King of the Asshats

I am thankful David Constantine - The Pathological Neighbor - does not live next door to me but I am beginning to wonder if has has some Mexican cousins...My favorite-evah neighbors are at it again. If you are a long-time stalker of mine you will remember that I've had more than one run-in with these people and to give the rest of you a little insight...
  • They stuccoed the front (but not the sides or back) of the little ranch house next-door. 
  • They increased the atttractiveness of our neighborhood by installing a vinyl privacy fence on one side of the front yard and chain link that doesn't close on the other...all while watching their wooden fence in the rest of the yard fall down around their ears. 
  • And they have lots of vehicles in the yard including a motorcycle trailer, jeep, trucks, sports cars and more...and at least one has been towed away because it was stolen by someone
  • They got really pissed when some of my fence stain got on their old truck in the yard...and even more pissed when I did some research, got it off without damaging his paint and washed and waxed the truck ('cause he wanted me to get the truck painted for him instead)
Other fun facts include:
  • He will tell you they are legal, whether you ask or not
  • He, as in the husband, works on cars and revs the engine after 8pm.
  • Their chihuahua - who does not stay home (see fence comment above) - likes to shit in other folks yards and eat my cat food. She is now raising her 2nd litter on their back porch...'cause she lives outside
  • He has told me more than once "hates" my "fucking dogs" and is "going to do something"
I think he's an asshole and needs to get a life.
     Or move.
           Yes, I wish he would move...

He called Animal Control on me for letting my dogs run at large this week. (I know because I got a love letter from the county.) I don't let my dogs run loose. I don't leave them in the backyard when I'm not home. They go on walks, have their shots and are all spayed or neutered...Plus I foster so we can safely say I am not only a responsible owner but I also do good for animals in the community. Hell, right before this all happened I gave his wife info on how to get their Priss spayed and vaccinated on the cheap and offered to help them place her new puppies

Anyway...I had a 6 month old puppy stay the night with me. Ten yr old boy chatting with friends through the open door let her slip out. Neighbors 4 yr old boy screams and runs like a pussy. Puppy does not bite anyone or runaway. She is brought back into the house and does not re-escape...Neighbor wants to see me but since I hate him, have not had a drop of coffee and am still in my nightie I send Dena out there.
The boy goes along too and apologizes. This would be when he says lovely things like he is "going to do something" and "those pitbulls are dangerous." The puppy was not a pit bull.

Dena and I chatted it over, agreed my dogs can be annoying and that we'd do better at keeping them from barking when out (that was another bitch session he decided to hold.) I was the pissy bitch and she was calm...until the letter came. Then it was my turn to talk her off the ledge.

Do you have an Ass-Hat neighbor? How do you handle them? SO far I've put up my own damn fence, landscaped that side of the yard for fewer visuals and avoid him like the plague...Any other tips?


  1. Sign him up for lots and lots of magazine subscriptions to embarrassing titles. (The "free trial" ones, of course.)

  2. Oh that sounds like a nightmare. Did that landscaping involve planting either trees or shrubs that will grow really tall?