Friday, February 6, 2009

Warning: About Abuse

So I went to an art show tonight. There was a silent auction in support of local non-profits, two of which I volunteer for. I was looking forward to as it was being held in an old, old firehouse in a historic part of town. I checked out the website in advance and some of their upcoming shows. There was a listing for an exhibit on abuse against women...I was drawn to read it but decided right away I would not be in attendance. When we arrived at the show tonight the exhibit was there. I didn't realize it at first and was drawn in to some of the art on the walls and the placards around the room.

I left and went to exhibit I came for. The work was good. There were a couple of pieces I really liked but when I was done I headed back downstairs. I read every word, stared at every piece of art, absorbing it all. I as near tears when we left. I was so pained and naked. I thought about my own past relationships. Some ok, some not.

I hope to teach my own children to stand strong, never put up with abuse in any form and to help those that have.

Someone I know is in the midst of this kind of shit right now. I have told her she is worth so much more than that. The trouble is that she can't see it yet. Her abuser is not physical but he has control. I can see it. I can feel it. But until she knows and has had enough there is nothing I can do. I've reached out, she has my contact info and though I don't know her well I'll be here if she needs me.

I know how you can allow someone to take over. By the time you look around and realize, it's already done. I know what its like to look over your shoulder nervously, to have your life threatened and to feel like you have no choice but unhappiness. I will never allow myself to feel that trapped again. I know I have choices, I know I am strong and I know I'm worth more than that, but tonight was still painful.

Teach your children...and yourself.
There are resources out there. If you need them, use them.
If you need help, get it.
And help others where you can.
Rape...physical, emotional, verbal abuse...Whatever.
They are all terrible crimes where the effects are passed on to the next generation.

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