TO: GOD
FROM: THE DOG
Dear God: Is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed?
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever,smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is itstill the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, themustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE namedfor a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love anice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle'the 'Chrysler Beagle'?
Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no humanhears him, is he still a bad Dog
Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, handsignals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's,electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What dohumans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have toapologize?
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I mustremember to be a good Dog.
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after theythrow it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just becauseI like the way they smell.
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff..
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on thetoilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way ofsaying 'hello'.
8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under thecoffee table .
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering thehouse - not after.
10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick mycrotch.
12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and hemakes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?
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