Out of the mouths of Babes...

I love my kids with all my heart! Here is a glimpse into one small slice of silliness from this morning! K is now 11 ans she is only 8. :)

K: Help! I have a grape in mysnuffleuphogus!
Z: No you don't! You have no food!
K: Yes I am!
Z: First of all it's and esophagus! Second of all, if this were true you would not be talking!
K with hands over mouth: I'm not talking!

He then fake passes out and she looks at me rolling her eyes like a pro.

Adult Supervision Required

You know how they tell you that you must have a responsible adult on hand after a surgery? I always figured it was because everyone deserves a maid and chauffeur after being sliced and diced but have come to realize I am wrong.

So W-R-O-N-G.

Trust me on this people. Get yourself an adult if you ever have to have surgery. You don't comprehend do you? I didn't either until I did these things...

1. Crawled around on the floor hell-bent on fixing my Netflix connection...which I did accomplish
2. Laid on the couch screaming at the children, "I don't care who does it! I just need HELP!"
3. Laid crying on the couch when the children left with their Dad at nights (because I was unable to drive them to school, missed tucking them in and just generally wanted them home with me even though I couldn't really take care of them)
4. Accidentally took an anti-nausea pill I got out for the puking dog (cause really, why wouldn't the dog start puking when I was on my own)
5. Double dose on antibiotics because only one was for 2x a day and since I was "better" I quit writing down med times
6. Got dizzy and found myself sitting in the shower (I then vowed to shower when folks were around) 

I'm sure there are more stupid things but drugs make you foggy so I can't remember them all. Go ahead and laugh at the list. It's ok 'cause I am. 

Every Day is Better

I spent a week dosing up on Vicodin and Ibuprofen til I ran out. I called the Dr for more who agreed I should not be in so much pain. She gave me a prescription for half the dose of Vicodin and seemed concerned. I don't know if she thought I was enjoying the pills or not but I certainly proved her wrong.

I took the reduced dose per the prescription and spiked a fever. Being home alone, 1 week post-surgery with a fever of over 100 makes for an emotional LilliGirl so I called the medical advice nurse's provided with our insurance. She in turn had me speak with the Doctor on-call who wanted me in the office in the morning.

My sister took me and after the joy of a trans-vaginal ultrasound (you should all know that word now thanks to the news,) a physical exam and blood work it was deemed there was an infection "somewhere." I was put on a double,  7 day dose of Z-Pac in addition to Flagyl.

I did blood work again on Monday to learn my white cell count had gone from "very high" to "high" and saw the Doc again on Thursday. She is awesome by the way. She did trim up my stitches that seemed to be popping out of my belly for me and said the infection is likely the result of a hematoma (blood collection.) I feel (and look) 1000 times better. I will repeat the meds for a few more days and go for more bloodwork on Monday. All this has conspired to keep me out of work but I do realize it is for the best. I'm getting better every day now!

Next time I shall provide you with all the reasons you should have supervision after surgery.  ;)

What a Surprise

I was so not prepared for the pain I'd experience with my hysterectomy. I reasoned out that it should be similar to a c-section and having had 2 of those, I'd be just fine. I came to in my room with a morphine pump that did not take the pain. I was moaning and asking for relief I could not find. We settled on a heating pad, changing positions frequently and additional narcotics being shot into the IV.

My veins weakened and started leaking in the night so after one last shot so the good stuff they took out the IV since my hand was swelling. They had to waken me several times because I was "forgetting to breathe." Fortunately (I think) I'd sent Dena home to sleep and care for the dogs so she missed out on that.

As they took out the IV they started me on Percocet. I knew either Percocet or Vicodin was bad but had no memory of which. It's Percocet. By the time Dena arrived I'd already had 2 and was crying myself to sleep. She did have them stop it right away and switch over to Vicodin.

I got the cath out, walked a bit, showered and they sent me home. Honestly? I could have used another day in the hospital but wanted to come home.I'm still in lots of pain and popping pills every 3 hours. I take my pills, go potty, walk a little and do my coughing exercises, sleep and repeat.

They found adenmyosis, endemetriosis, scar tissue and a cyst which was all removed in addition to my uterus and cervix. My abdomen is swollen like I'm pregnant and I feel bruised from head to toe. I broke a blood vessel in my eye coughing too so I'm sure I'm very pretty.

Dena has been a prize through it all. And my best friend is coming over to help out when she has to go back to work tomorrow. My sister came to visit today.

I now understand why my Doctor wrote me out for 6 weeks of work. I'm not at all pleased about that but may be forced to accept it. Time will tell.

Prepping for the big day!

Tomorrow I will be the lucky winner of a partial hysterectomy. It's kinda like winning the lotto but less significant. Surgery is never fun but I am certain I will bounce back and here are the reasons I will choose to view this as my Valentine's gift to me...

1. No more bleeding...as I have every day for like 8 months
2. No more cramps 
3. No more daily back pain
4. No more periods
5. I can once again consider a great sex life as a possibility
6. I will get some rest
7. Morphine pumps are supposed to be fab
8. Exercising should be easier
9. I will have the opportunity to get tired of lounging around in PJs
10. I will get to catch up on my reading

I'll be in for 1 - or 3 - days. It's all up in the air but I've done what I can to prepare. Bring on the knife!

Letting go is hard...

To let go does not mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off, it's the realization I can't control another.
To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another, it's to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for, but to care about
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive
To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes but to allow others to affect their destinies.
To let go is not to be protective, it's to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny, but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires but to take each day as it comes, and cherish myself in it.
To let go is not to criticize and regulate anybody but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less, and love more.

Day Trip Pending!

How freaking awesome is this!?!

Natural Water Slide, Cedar Run Trail

Are you freakin' kidding me?

We were all at my parents last Wednesday for baths and birthday cake for my favorite niece ever. FYI, It is not polite to point out she is my only niece but I digress...My Mom tripped as I took the dogs out and face planted on the kitchen floor. We called 911, got my sister over to keep my Dad, my kids Dad over to take them and I headed off to the hospital. Thank the Lord and all the Heavens she didn't break anything! She did however dislocate her "good" shoulder and get about 8 stitches across her fore head. Oh, and 2 black eyes to match her now purple chin. Holy Hell! Can we catch a break? Really, just one would be nice. They reset her and sent her home but having had one shoulder replaced and dislocating another just about sent her over the edge. She was not a happy camper. Thankfully when I went to help her wash her hair we discovered she has remarkably good movement. Monday she will go for a check-up and we've successfully consolidated the appt to cover both of her shoulders and get her stitches out. Nothing like a 3 for one deal, man.

My Dad's MRSA seems to be healing per the doc but I think it still looks pretty awful. And he told me his heart is acting up and he can tell because he's breathless. He's probably right. We also talked about his dementia some today and he did not remember it's part of his disease. He tells me about his hallucinations. Today he saw folks playing tennis and golf in the back yard but "knew they were not real" because he realizes he does not have all that in his backyard. I'm glad he can tell the difference in reality and I am glad they are all positive but I know they frighten him and my heart cries for him. He lamented today that he is trapped in his own body and it will no longer do as he says. He has a very positive attitude overall but does get frustrated. I am always amazed at his patience and grace.

I told them to go ahead and get some help in (OK, maybe I begged them, maybe I didn't) because I am waiting for a call from "Scheduling" to sign up for a hysterectomy.  I explained that I will NOT be able to do all I'm doing now as I recoup. Lord I hope they "get it" but one can never tell.

We seem to have quite the black could over us. My nephew is being sent for an MRI because he has a painful lump in his back. And my uncle is recovering from a bleed out behind his thigh muscle caused by his meds. I told my mother not to worry. We're just getting it all out of the way early this year.

And I got to see my sweet, fat, big, little, chunky, rolly-polly, love-bug grandson today! He is such a sweet happy baby. I love him with all my heart and I am glad she is staying with them. Not only does she give some help around the house, he makes everyone smile every day. He is growing by leaps and bounds and is the best snuggler!

She Rocks!

I have been fortunate enough to work with this fabulous lady...Go see what happened to Ryan at H&M!

Off and Running in 2012

I am very happy to share with you that Oz finally got adopted! He has a wonderful family complete with his very own 11 yr old, dog buddy, mom and dad and huge fenced in yard. I sent him off with his conch shell yesterday.

You don't know about the conch shell? We collected some while in the Outer Banks (They are really large welks but the kids will hear none of that.) I had the youngest arrange them in the flower bed and after some trial and error Oz claimed one. He'd carry it around, dig a hole to put it in and take it out. He's throw it. He'd paw it. He'd bark at it. And every now and then he'd try to sneak it in the house. It was by fa his favorite toy here. I have no idea why. I thought he should have it though in his new home.

My mother's shoulder continues to mend and my grand baby is awesome. Due to colds and off schedules I haven't seem him but plan to rectify that soon. My dad is fighting with MRSA in his leg yet again. Hopefully we'll have that gone soon.

My Aunt and her family continue to struggle. Their home burned the week of Christmas. Fortunately they have wonderful neighbors and got help from the Rec Cross and their Insurance company but they continue to face troubles. My uncle was hospitalized for a bleed behind his thigh due to heart meds, their cat is missing and their dog ended up in the emergency vet last night due to seizures. I think at this point they are holding onto sanity by a thread so say your prayers, send love and light, whatever you do but please keep them in your thoughts.

Dena is being forced to work in Newport News so much now that she's rented a room in the home of a friend through May and will hopefully be home on weekends. Gotta love the railroad, right? Her pseudo-move is today. And since life is never complete without complication she was diagnosed with Carpal Tunnel in both hands and recommended for swift and immediate surgery. She won't do that of course. Not having short-term disability to cover her pay plus taking on a room in Newport News makes her quite clear on NOT wanting to get it done.

I need to follow up with my doctor too. I am moving down the road of a hysterectomy. I'd be upset if I wasn't so excited about the idea of no pain/bleeding every freakin day. Oops, that may be TMI but seriously, I'm over it. They can have my parts. ;)

The boy is in the drama club and playing basketball. He's decided to take baseball season off but the girl will still play. They continue to excel in school and make me laugh every day. So no matter what may go on in all the corners of my small world I will continue to go with the flow and not take life too seriously. I love my world.

Oh! And look at the Cool pics of our pups courtesy of our partnership with a VCU Student on a project! We were out of available fosters to send that day so my guys got to go for a photo shoot! Piggy's are not very good but only because you can see her trepidation. Good experience for her and I am still proud of how well my little crack baby did. lol

Happy New Year!

It was a rough stretch getting to vacation but I made it and have now fully recovered from "real life." Just in time to start up again. We had a good Christmas which included 2 weeks of time with family and friends, tomfoolery and generally committing to going with the flow. We spent an entire evening at Bass Pro playing games, decorating cookies and chatting with Santa. (I hope you like the pics.)

Poor Dena was working and simply could not keep up with what we were up to or who we were with on any given day since I have an extraordinary ability to turn on a dime. We were thankful she managed to be home for Christmas, go out with the fam for breakfast on New Year's Eve and even make it home on New Year's before midnight. I spent New Years watching Disney movies with the kids until they passed out in the Living Room. Exactly my kind of party.  Yesterday was dedicated to detailed cleaning and dog walking.

My mothers shoulder (replacement) is healing well but we are still needed to help every other day. As I go back to work that makes me sigh. Loudly. I managed to set up some nice new opportunities for myself to return to and am excited as well as concerned about my ability to have a good work-life balance. There was no balance prior to this vacation and I hope I did a good job of setting myself up for success. We shall see.

Foster Puppy Oz is still here. He's had applications but not one person to follow through. It's sad because he is not a "crack-head" he's actually grown into a very nice young dog. He'd fit in beautifully if Piggy would accept him but since she has refused to for 6 months my hopes are not high. Lord, I wish he'd get adopted.

As we move into 2012 I have a list of new items to tackle and goals I want to achieve. I hope you do too and wish you luck and skill in all your endeavors.

And so it begins...

I haven't seen my son all evening. He is having movie night in his room.

He can tel he'll be a man "soon" because he is watching ESPN by choice.

He has showed me his non-existent armpit hair more than once lately.

He is beginning to stress Family Life classes and wishes they would hurry up and get it over with.

He agreed to stand with, but not sit on the lap of Santa for his little sister's benefit.

He's 11 now and somehow I thought I had a little more time before all this.

Weekend Awesomeness

• Dena making dinner since I had to work late (even thought I was home)
• The boy playing football outside with his friends
• Dressing up and attending a Christmas Concert at a beautiful church we'd never been to
• Spending time with my parents, seeing my eldest & my grandson
• Movie Night with popcorn on the couch
• The ex dropping off medicine I was out of
• Kids helping clean house extensively, including the kitchen cabinets
• Everyone working together to put up & decorate our Christmas Tree
• Homemade Sunday dinner of baked chicke, butter beans and pasta
• Baking Chocolate cake with 2 types of frosting for dessert
• The boy losing his last baby tooth

I will go back to work tomorrow but at least it will be with a smile. And vacation is coming soon!

Hola Muchachas!

It's been ages...

• Mom is recovering quite nicely from surgery
• Dad is behaving well for everyone but feeling a bit bullied by his granddaughter
• My grandson is turning into quite the chatter...He only yells at his toys or his Mommy though
• His Mommy had a job interview and Lord, I hope she gets it
• Dena has been MIA a bit as she runs trains to the beach under the cover of night
• Oz is sadly still here. He had some great photos done and is starting to settle out of true puppy-hood
• Teh boy is looking forward to basketball and I need to figure out when that starts
• And the little girl is taking a season off

Me? I am absolutely drowning between work and running after everyone but hope to spend more time here over the holidays. Here's some of what has occupied me...That captioned photo was my contest entry. The dog actually found that prize walking our own James River.

Miss Virginia may not be so pretty after all

You may have heard about the drama surrounding Miss Virginia recently...I'm not sure how far that news spread but do believe it stayed local.

You can read my take on the topic here.

It's almost showtime! Are you ready for your Debut?

That's what I asked my Mom as we waited in the staging area.

She thoughtfully had a concrete sidewalk installed to eliminate trip hazards for my Dad with late-stage Parkinson's Disease very recently. A railroad tie was left there creating what could be a nice border if filled in with flowers...And as she rushed to the car late last week to go pick up one of her granddaughters she tripped over that wood and came down hard.

Almost miraculously my daughter pulled up after she realized she could not get up and was left yelling and hoping for help in the dark, and took her to the ER. We followed up with orthopedics the next day and a surgeon was called in. We did a scan and some pre-surgery testing and I must say they sugarcoated it all quite nicely. Today we arrived for shoulder replacement at 10am. Now at 8pm I am still sitting in the surgery center.

While they got us back rather quickly the doctor fell behind and her blood pressure was too low for comfort so she didn't get her 11am surgery until around 3pm. They are keeping her for at least a day now and bringing in another doctor because post surgery her blood pressure is again too low. Per the nurse, she is insisting it's fine because it was low when she got here. I know she's OK but not back to fabulous yet.

It seems the next month and a half will be busily spent coordinating my parents care between my sister, my eldest and I while trying to keep up with daily life. That's not a complaint. It is a fact and one I readily accept. I love my parents dearly and know there is nothing they would not do for me. How could I ever give any less in return?

Cheers to a speedy recovery Mom...I think by the end of this day I'll be ready for a drink.  ;)

Fall Back?

I will swear on my grave I hate the falling back of the clocks each year. It signals winter and darkness to me which I simply don't care for. It means cold days and colder nights. Toss in short days and I'm not really a fan.

I'm a Spring kinda girl and could pretty happily skip over Winter entirely I think...But in reality I know that's not really-really true and there are good things about the time change...

1. Only 46 days until the days get longer
2. I will never adjust to the time change so I should be on time for work every day now
3. "Falling Back" typically coincides with the end of football season for the kiddos
4. The end of football means more free unstructured time - which I LOVE
5. I will go to bed earlier because the chill will chase me to my soft warm bed
6. I will use the crockpot more because it's easy, smalls good and I will be indoors more
7. The holidays are upon us which signal vacation time to me

What else? I don't know, cause really-really, I don't like the short days.

One of the best ways to work

Dena has been out of town all week in Newport News. I've had a shit-ton of work to get through this week! Pile up work-work, kids to keep up with and animals to care for and I really did not have much room to breathe.

The bright spot was clearing my calendar with the exception of one meeting and setting up work at the kitchen table Thursday. I had fresh coffee and quiet. It was wonderful. I worked for about 9 hours periodically gazing out the big picture window and relishing the pure, simple, lack of interruptions. I got more done in one day than I can in 2-3 in the office. Never ceases to amaze me.

 When I was done I tried to teach Oz to play fetch (he did actually bring the stick back once) and danced to the radio while I made a Shepherd's Pie. I ate while playing on my computer and watched what I wanted on tv without any remarks or comments. I picked up the wee one from cheering and turned in early with my snuggle-pig.

It was an excellent day.

Body or Mind?

C got rid of the baby. My Mom is having an affair and was going to run off with another man so she gave all 3 Bostons away. She moved the house too. My 7 yr old was seen smoking cigarettes with my sister. There were strangers in the house too.


If you've been reading for any time you know my Dad has Parkinson's Disease. He has Lewy's Body Dementia which comes along with it but is "with it" most of the time. As his body declines the time came to adjust his meds. Primary question? Do you change them to help him be more active to the detriment of brain power? Or adjust them to improve the dementia knowing he won't be able to do what he tells his body to do. Seems they opted for the body and he's had a challenging few days. They'll give it a week to see if all improves and if not, try, try again.

In that position I don't know what I would choose. How about you?

What's that thing you hate?

And by hate I mean abhor. The thing around the house you nevah-evah-ebah want to do. You'd rather be dipped in honey and stuck in the front yard butt-ass naked rather than complete.

For me it's putting away my clothes. Seriously. I will scrub toilets, re-org kids rooms while through every toy/game piece-by piece, crawl under the house, weed the flower beds for 3 days straight but I will never happily put away my clothes. Ever.

This is a problem as you try to teach your children to be neat. And when you undertake fall cleaning and that's the only thing left to do.

In my fantasy land my one true love will put away my clothes for me. And by put away I mean hang my shit up. I can handle the dresser.  If I had limited but awesome free fundage I'd skip the cook and maid and only have a washer woman.

I don't have a washer woman, no one wants to hang up my clothes and they wont even take pay for it at my house. Damn. I'm screwed.